A Brief Summary of the Really Long Novel 

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​This is a summary of the Dumas novel, for those interested. The play is not the novel. 
  • Starts in France, where a young man from Gascony, named D'Artagnan.
    • He is given three gifts from this father: fifteen crowns [that's about $150 today], a horse, and a letter of introduction to M. de Tréville, who commands the King's Musketeers.  
  • D'Artagnan dreams of becoming a Musketeer. 
  • His training as a gentleman along with his pluck and determination lead him to become friends with three Musketeers named Porthos, Athos and Aaramis. 
  • D'Artagnan falls in love with Constance Bonacieux. 

  • MEANWHILE, the Duke of Buckingham [same position as Buckingham in Richard III, different guy] "woos" Queen Anne of France. 
  • A married lady, she gives Buckingham a diamond necklace as a way of being like, "Sorry I can't marry you right now, at least this is worth a lot."
  • The Cardinal, our villain, is angry with Anne for not loving him and wants to get her in trouble with her husband. 
  • The Cardinal has a creepy amount of spies, and so he knows that Anne gave the diamonds to Buckingham. 
  • The Cardinal makes a diabolical plan: the King will throw a party and require Anne to wear the diamonds (originally a gift from the King). 
  • Constance Bonaciuex swears to help Queen Anne and the help she finds is D'Artagnan. 
  • D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers go to England to get the necklace. 
    • ​Each of the 3M are detained on the road, D'Art makes it to England alone. 
  • He finds the Duke and get the necklace, but find that two are missing. 
    • ​The Duke has two more made and blocks ships from leaving England to make sure that the missing diamonds don't make it to Paris. 
      • ​Note: Blocking ships is an act of war. The Duke of Buckingham just declared war on France to protect his affair. 
  • D'Art makes it back to Paris to save the Queen. 
  • Constance finally makes a date with D'Art, but she's kidnapped! 
  • D'Art goes in search of the 3M, and finds them in various states of soberness in inns across France. 
    • ​While drunk, Athos tells them about a woman once ruined a "friend" of his. His "FRIEND" married a woman against the wishes of his family only find that she was a criminal--he has been heart broken ever since. 
  • ​After some minor distractions (the 3M lose their horses through a series of shenanigans), the four them return to Paris. 
  • D'Art learns that the King wants him to become a Musketeer!! 
  • The men must find money to outfit themselves for war. 
    • Porthos and Aramis go to their mistresses for money. 
    • D'Artagnan sleeps with a lady in return for a valuable ring (but he finds out it once belonged to Athos!) and so they sell it and split the money. 
    • They all make enough money and are ready for war! 
  • OH SNAP D'Art didn't sleep with any noble woman, he sleep with Milady!!! She is an agent of the Cardinal. 
    • He slept with her and uncovered her secret, she has a fleur-de-lis branded into her shoulder, marking her a criminal.
    • Milady sends assassins after him and then tries to poison him when that doesn't work. 
  • The 3M overhear a conversation  between the Cardinal and Milady. 
    • The Cardinal tasks her with finding someone to kill the Duke of Buckingham. 
      • In return, she wants D'Artagnan dead. 
  • The Four Friends send two messengers. One goes to Tours with a letter warning the Queen of the plot against her lover. The other goes to England to warn Milady's brother-in-law about her arrival. 
  • Milady arrives in England and is put in prison in a castle above a cliff. 
  • Milady convinces her jailer that she is innocent, and was ruined by the Duke of Buckingham. 
    • Her jailer, John Felton [the Duke of Buckingham's actual assassin] sets her free and stabs the Duke to death. 
    • Milady goes back to France, to find Constance in the convent where she has been hiding. 
  • D'Art gets word from the Queen that he can meet Constance and take her away from the convent. 
  • D'Art arrives at the convent too late, Milady has poisoned Constance. 
    • Constance dies in D'Art's arms. 
  • The Four Friends track down Milady, bring her to trial, we hear the full extent of her crimes. 
    • Poisoning Constance Bonacieux
    • Trying to poison D'art with wine, a man named Brisemont died in his place
    • D’Artagnan accuses her of asking him to murder the Comte de Wardes
    • Causing the assassination of the Duke of Buckingham; Felton will be killed. 
    • Her second husband died a mysterious death.
    • Athos  explains that he married Milady when she was a young girl, and gave her money and a title before finding the brand on her shoulder.
    • A  man in a red cloak takes off his mask; Milady calls him the executioner of Lille.
      • The man explains his story: Milady was once a nun who seduced a priest. She convinced him that they need money to flee, and the priest stole sacred objects of the church and sold them. Both were arrested. Milady then seduced the son of her jailer and escaped. The brother of the priest swore to catch Milady and brand her, so he did and returned home. The priest escaped and his brother took his place in jail. The priest and Milady fled to a small church on an estate. The lord of the estate, Athos, fell in love with Milady and made her his wife. The priest returned home, found his brother in jail, felt guilty, and hung himself. 
      • Body count for Milady: 6
    • Milady is executed. 
  • D'Art is summoned to the Cardinal, and the Cardinal tells him that since Milady is dead he's going to stop trying to kill him and he can be a lieutenant in the Musketeers. 
    • D'Art tries to give the position to each one of his friends, but each refuses: Athos doesn't want it, Aramis is going to become a priest, and Porthos is going to marry a rich woman. 
  • Constance's old husband (yes, she had one. But he was really old and wasn't very good to her) disappears under mysterious circumstances and the novel ends.